Newton formulatd his 2nd n 3rd law?

Once he gave a force kick'F 'to a cow for which da cow did 'MA'.he formulatd his 2nd law 'F=ma';in rxn to dis da cow gave back kick 2 him.thus he formulatd his 3rd law 'To each n evry axn,there is equal n opposite rxn'

i love my mom

‎4 years:mom knows everything! 8 years:mom knows a lot!12years: mom really doesn't know everything!...14 years:mom knows nothing! 16years: mom,whatmom!...18years:mom is outdated! 25years:maybe mom knows! 35years:before deciding let's ask mom! 45years:I wonder what mom thinks! 75years:I wish mom was here to ask her

forget the fruit

An apple a day keeps the doctor away, but if doctor is cute, forget the fruit

mom & son

mon: do not go long tour in bike
son: i will coz i drive good
mom: u may drive good but other may hit u from back
son: so, mom i drive in speed of 100 km/h

langur: VALENTINES DAY ko log AISA KYA KARTE HA? bangur:9 MAHINAY BAAD 14 NOV KO "CHILDREN DAY" MANANA PADTA HAI

ur wife is much better

langur & bangur went 2 a callgirl.
langur went in and came out n said
“Na my wife is better.”
bangur went in and came out n said
“U R right ur wife is much better

memory

Syllabus is 5 GB, they teach us 500 MB, I memories 5 MB, I write in exam 500 KB and I get scores in bytes

saas bhi kabi Bahu thi

Ik raat bahuu ne kisi gair merd ke saath guzari, mager saas ne kush na kaha, bhala kiun, kiun ke saas bhi kabi Bahu thi

Give me ur No.

langur:-Darling, on our Engagement will you give me a RING?
goks:Ya sure, Give me ur Telephone No.

मुझे कॉलेज के दिन याद आ गये

चार कुत्ते एक कुतिया से प्यार कर रहे थे! एक महिला यह सब देख कर रोने लगी!
एक बच्चे ने आ कर पूछा आप क्यों रो रहे हो?
महिला: कुछ नहीं बेटा मुझे कॉलेज के दिन याद आ गये!

jokes from goks

langur: what is the meaning of ford
bangur:फोर्ड(ford) भनको गाडी हो
langur:what's meaning of ox
bangur: ox भनको बेल (गरु) हो.
langur: then what's meaning of OXFORD
goks: oxford भनको बेलगाडी हो.

I Love U sister

A sardarji Doctor falls in Love with a Nurse.He writes a love letter to the Nurse :- I Love U sister

cook something else

langur: My husband went to buy potatoes 5 days ago, he hasn`t come back yet
bangur: Why don`t u cook something else?

law allows only 1 wife.

Every man needs a beautiful wife, intelligent wife, caring wife, loving wife, adjusting & cooperative wife, but it`s sad that law allows only 1 wife.

Every man needs a beautiful wife, intelligent wife, caring wife, loving wife, adjusting & cooperative wife, but it`s sad that law allows only 1 wife.

langur was standing in sun on a hot sunny day.
Bangur: What are you doing?
langur: Drying sweat.

fullform of COLLEGE

Do U know the fullform of COLLEGE- C-Come,O-On,L-Lets, L-Love, E-Each,G-Girl,E-Equally......Thats why boys go to college regularly....

increase ur happiness like prices of petrol

May God increase ur happiness like prices of petrol, and decrease sorrows like clothes of rekha thapa

बच्चाहरुको भाडा

एकजना महिला बसमा चढेपछि खलासिसँग कुरा गर्दै-

महिला : बच्चहरुको त भाडा लाग्दैन नि होइन?

खलासि : १२ भन्दा मुनी छन् भने मात्र हो नत्र भाडा लागछ ।

महिला : ए ठीकै छ, मेरो ९ वटा मात्र छन्।

hahahaha ho he

haha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha haha ha haha ha hahi hi hi hi hih ihi hi hi hi
ih ihi h hoho ho ho ho hoho ho ho hoho hoho ho nothing special my friend,
just your face come in my mind. ha ha ha ha ha ha

हप्तामा कतिओटा अण्डा दिन्छ?

टिचरले रामलाई सोधेछन्

टिचर : राम टिमि भन त एउटा कुखुराले एक दिनमा २ ओटा अण्डा दिन्छ भने एक हप्तामा कतिओटा अण्डा दिन्छ?

राम : १२ ओटा सर ।

टिचर : कसरि १२ ओटा मात्रै दिन्छ ? हप्तामा ७ दिन हुन्छ।

राम : सर सनिबार त छुट्टि हुन्छनि त।

मिनीस्कर्ट

प्रेमी : हैन ! तिमीले यो मिनीस्कर्ट लगाएको देखेर तिम्रो बुवाले गाली गर्नु हुन्न ?
प्रेमीका : अहँ! गर्नु हुन्न तर ममिले चाँहि गाली गर्नु हुन्छ ।
प्रेमी : अनि ममिले चाँही किन त्यसरि गाली गरेको नि ?
प्रेमीका : ममिलाई आफ्नो लुगा अरुले लगाको मन पर्दैनु त्यसैले।

३नै जना बेवकुफहरु

श्रीमति : हिजो तपाईं धेरै पिउनु भएर ढल तिर लड्नु भएको थियो, यसरी पनि पिउनु हुन्छ ?

श्रीमान : के गर्नु सबै गलत संगतको असर हो, ४ जना साथी १ बोटल रक्सी, ३नै जना बेवकुफहरु रक्सी नखाने परे त्यसैले धेर भयो ।

श्रीमान श्रीमति

श्रीमति टि भि मा क्रिकेट म्याच हेर्नमा मस्त भईराखेको बेलामा श्रीमाने अफिस जानलाई तयार भएर सोधेछ,

हेरत म कस्तो देखिएको छु ?

श्रीमति : (T. V.हेरेकै सुरमा श्रीमनतिर हेर्दै) छक्का, छक्का ।

Sadarji, TV and Salesman

Sardarji went to the appliance store sale and found a bargain.
\"I would like to buy this small TV,\" he told the salesman.
\"Sorry, we don\'t sell to Sardars,\" he replied.
He hurried home removed his turban and changed his hair style, and returned
to tell the salesman
\"I would like to buy this TV.\"
\"Sorry, we don\'t sell to Sardars,\" Salesman replied.
\"Damn, he recognized me,\" he thought.
He went for a complete disguise this time, haircut, new hair colour,
new outfit, big sunglasses, waited a few days, saw the salesman again.
\"I would like to buy this TV.\"
\"Sorry, we don\'t sell to Sardars,\" he replied.
Frustrated, he exclaimed, \"How do you know I\'m a Sardar?\"
\"Because that\'s a microwave,\" he replied.

langur & bangur

langur: I am very proud, my son is in Medical Collage. Bangur: Really, what is he studying? langur: No, he is not studying. They are studying him

mirror

to see light,look at sun..to see love look at moon..to see beauty,look at nature..to see hope,look at future..but,to see all of this,look at the mirro

Mero man mandir hoina ,Nafukali aaya hunchha

Boy: (to a new girl)Darling,Mero mutu ma aayara basana.
Girl: (In very angry mood)Chappal fukalau?
Boy: Mero man mandir hoina ,Nafukali aaya hunchha.

the Titanic is going to be drowned

Help.... the Titanic is going to be drowned....\" Everybody in the ship is shouting, crying, running or praying to God... Just then a Italian asks the nearby Hari in the ship. Italian : How far is land, from here ? Hari : Two miles . Italian : Only two miles, Then why are these fools making noise. I have got the experience of swimming even more. The Italian jumps off the ship into the sea and comes up to the layer to ask something again. Italian : Just tell me which side, is land two miles from here ? Hari: Downwards... !!

jokes and sms by manish bhandari

Well I was bullied at school, called all kinds of different names. But one day I turned to my bullies and said - 'Sticks and stones may break my bones but names will never hurt me', and it worked! From there on it was sticks and stones all the way. 

Well I was bullied at school, called all kinds of different names. But one day I turned to my bullies and said - 'Sticks and stones may break my bones but names will never hurt me', and it worked! From there on it was sticks and stones all the way. 

A guy at work went in for a competition and won a trip to China. He's out there now...trying to win a trip back!

When I was a kid I used to pray every night for a new bike. Then I realised that The Lord doesn't work that way, so I stole one and asked him to forgive me.

I sold my house this week. I got a pretty good price for it, but it made my landlord mad as hell.

A woman tells her doctor, 'I've got a bad back.'
The doctor says, 'It's old age.'
The woman says, 'I want a second opinion.'
The doctor says: 'Okay - you're ugly as well.'

I had plenty of pimples as a kid. One day I fell asleep in the library. When I woke up, a blind man was reading my face.

My neighbour asked if he could use my lawnmower and I told him of course he could, so long as he didn't take it out of my garden.

You know, somebody actually complimented me on my driving today. They left a little note on the windscreen, it said 'Parking Fine.' So that was nice.

The most effective way to remember your wife's birthday is to forget it once.

When a man steals your wife, there is no better revenge than to let him keep her.  

A girl can wait for the right man to come along, but in the meantime that still doesn't mean she can't have a wonderful time with all the wrong ones.

Giving up smoking is easy...I've done it hundreds of times.

In life, it's not who you know that's important, it's how your wife found out.

Women have a passion for mathematics. They divide their age in half, double the price of their clothes, and always add at least five years to the age of their best friend.

I was the best man at the wedding. If I'm the best man, why is she marrying him?

My wife had a go at me last night. She said, "You'll drive me to my grave." I had the car out in thirty seconds.

sadarji..

A sardarji Doctor falls in Love with a Nurse.He writes a love letter to the Nurse :- I Love U sister....

Discoveries and inventions

The man discovered COLORS and invented PAINT;

the woman discovered PAINT and invented MAKEUP.

The man discovered the WORD and invented CONVERSATION;

the woman discovered CONVERSATION and invented GOSSIP.

The man discovered AGRICULTURE and invented FOOD;

The woman discovered FOOD and invented DIET.

The man discovered FRIENDSHIP and invented LOVE;

The woman discovered LOVE and invented LOVE TRIANGLES.

The man discovered TRADING and invented MONEY;

the woman discovered MONEY and invented SHOPPING.

Thereafter man has discovered and invented a lot of things...

but the women are still BUSY in shopping.................

दिमागमा आगो

श्रीमती: तिमी मलाई धेरै रिस नउठाउ त ! मेरो दिमागमा आगो बलेको छ आज ।
हम जाएगा: ए, तेही भएर होला, आज बिहानैदेखि गुईँठा बालेको गन्ध आएको ।

किराहरु र जनावरहरुको फूटबल म्याच

एकचोटि किराहरु र जनावरहरुको फूटबल म्याच भएछ । हाफ ट्याम हुँदासम्म जनावरहरुले ६ गोल गरेछन्, तर किराहरुले भने गोलै गर्न सकेनछन् । दोश्रो हाफमा किराहरुको कोचले सय खुट्टे अरिमुठे (MILLIPEDE) ल्याएछ । अरिमुठेले दनादन १२ गोल ठोकेछ, किराहरुले १२-६ मा खेल जितेछन् । खेल सकिएपछि पत्रकारहरुले किराको कोचलाई सोधे;
"कोचज्यू, यस्तो राम्रो खेल्ने अरिमुठेलाई पहिल्यैबाट किन नखेलाएको?"
"पहिल्यैबाट खेलाउने मन त मलाईपनि थियो भाई, तर के गर्ने, बिचरालाई सय वटा खुट्टामा बुट कस्नै हाफ टाइमसम्म लाग्यो ।"

सालीको कट्टु फुकाल्छु

दुईजना कर्मचारी कुरा गर्दै
पहिलो: आज गुड फ्राईडे कसरी मनाउने योजना छ त ?
दोश्रो: घरमा जान्छु..अस्तिको एक प्याक बाँकी नै छ...त्यहि मासुको भुटुवासँग...दिएर मनाउनु पर्ला । अनि तिम्रो नि ?
पहिलो: घर गएर मेरो सालीको कट्टु फुकाल्छु ।
दोश्रो: हँ ! किन ...?
पहिलो: मैले बिहान हतारमा सालीको कट्टु लगाएर आएछु ।

Funny facts about life

1. If you come early, the bus is late. If you come late? The bus is still late.
2. Once you have bought something the same thing item you will get at a cheaper rate in next shop.
3. When in the queue, the other line always moves faster and the person in front of you will always have the most complex of transactions.
4. If you have paper you don't have pen, if you have pen you don't have paper. If you have both, no one calls.
5. If you have bunked class, the professor has taken attendence .
6. You will pick up maximum wrong numbers when on roaming.
7. The door bell or mobile will always ring when yo are in bathroom.
8. After a long wait for bus two buses will always pull together and the bus which you get in will be more crowded than the other.
9. If your exam is tomorrow there will be power cut tonight.
10. Irrespective of the direction of the wind the smoke from the cigarette will always tend to go to the non-smoker.

Menaka Gandhi and George Bush method to catch a lion:

Menaka Gandhi and George Bush method to catch a lion:

Menaka Gandhi Method:
Save the lion from a danger and feed him with some vegetables continuously.

George bush method:
Link the lion with Osama bin laden and shoot him!!!

रेखा थापा बाहिर गुम्न जान लाग्दा

रेखा थापा बाहिर गुम्न जान लाग्दा एरपोर्टमा ब्याग चेक गर्दा सलाईको बट्टा भेटियो।
चेकर- यो सलाईको बट्टामा के छ?
रेखा थापा- नतर्सनुस् यसमा मेरो कपडा छ।

नेपाल टेलिकमको नयाँ सेवा "विवाह सेवा" सुरु भ&

नेपाल टेलिकमको नयाँ सेवा विवाह सेवा:
सम्बन्धको लागि १ थिच्नुस्, मग्निको लागि २ थिच्नुस्, विवाह नै गर्न ३ थिच्नुस्
मुन्द्रे: दोस्रो विवाहको लागि के थिच्ने?
नेपाल टेलिकम : यस सेवाको लागि पत्नीको घाटि थिच्नुस्।।।।।

मल्लिकाले एक बाबालाई सोधेछिन्

मल्लिकाले एक बाबालाई सोधेछिन्

बाबा म नहाउने बेलामा के लगाउ जसले गर्दा मेरो यौवन सधै सुरक्षित रहोस

बाबाले भने: ढोका

बालक के चाहियो ?

एकचोटि भक्तले शिवजिको धेरै तपस्या गरेपछि शिवजि प्रकट भएर भने माग बालक के चाहियो ?

भक्त : भक्तले भन्यो मलाई एउटा गितार दिनुस

शिवजिले भने : अलि ठुलै माग बालक यत्रो तपस्या गरेका छौ

भक्त : मलाई गितार नै चाहियो

शिवजि : (रिसाएर) यदि मसँग गितार भए म डमरु लिएर हिँड्थेँ

तिम्रो गाडिको नाम के हो ?

राम : हरि तिम्रो गाडिको नाम के हो ?

हरि : ओहो मैले बिर्सेछु तर त्यो ( T ) बाट start हुन्छ ।

राम : ए मेरो त पेट्रोलबाटै Start हुन्छ ।

पहिले नै राम्ररि हेर्नु पर्दैन थ्यो त ?

नेपोलियनले मुन्द्रेलाई ��­नेछन्

नेपोलियन : मेरो डिस्नरिमा "इम्पोसिबल" ��­न्ने शब्द नै छैन ।

मुन्द्रे : पहिले किन्ने बेलामानै हेरेर मात्र किन्नु पर्दैनत सबै सब्द छ कि छैन ��­नेर ।

How clever the mad is!

There is a pond in a mental hospital. One day one mad mistakenly falled in that pond who donno how to swim! At that time, another mad jumped into the pond & save that mad who was on the way to be drawn in the water.

After one hour, Dr called that mad guy who saved his fellow.

Dr : Man, you are completely normal now. We have decided to release yu from here!

Mad guy : Thank you sir. May I go now?

Dr : Sure, but before go from here can you pls tell me where is that guy who got his life back for you?

Mad guy : Oh, he was completely wet. I made him hanged on the tree so that he could get dry soon!

monkey!

a women gets on a bus with her baby.the bus driver says"thats the ugliest baby that i've ever seen.ugh"
the women goes to ther rear of the bus and sit down,fuming.
She says to a man next to her"the driver just insulted me"
the man says"u go right up there and tell him to apologize and i will hold ur monkey for u".

Cricket in exam

cricket has reached exciting levels with T20.infusing the same thing into exams,some suggestions:
1.Reduce exam time by 1 hour and marks by 50
2.Introduce strategic breaks after each 30 mins
3.Give free hit marks where students can frame their own questions and write answer
4.1st 15 mins power play is no invigilator in class
5.introduce fair play awards
~issued in public intrest